11 Years, 1 Month, and 2 Hours: Why I Finally Walked Away

I found an old notebook the other day. And GIRL. I was not prepared. 😂

At first, I was flipping through pages filled with old blog ideas, half-written introductions, outfit posts, little things I wanted to share. Then I got to the pages about work. Dates. Conversations. Things I wanted to remember because I was so tired of feeling like what was happening to me could just be brushed aside.

And then I found the entry I wrote the day I finally quit.

April 28, 2017.

Eleven years, one month, and two hours. Yes, TWO hours. Apparently I needed the exact count. LOL.

It wasn’t always a job I wanted to leave

That’s the part I don’t want to skip over. I didn’t spend eleven years hating every minute of that place. Far from it.

When I first started there, I was 21. I learned so much. I built friendships that have lasted long after I walked out the door. I genuinely loved what I did for a long time. That job even played a part in how I met the man who became my husband. So when I say leaving was bittersweet, I mean it.

But there came a point when the environment changed, and so did I.

When work starts following you home

I dealt with repeated harassment and situations that left me feeling unheard, defeated, and like the people who could have done something simply weren’t going to. I started documenting conversations and incidents because I didn’t know what else to do.

I have pages of it. More pages than I remembered.

Reading them now, I don’t just see a list of things that happened at work. I see how much space that job was taking up in my head, even outside those walls. I was always trying to explain myself, remember what someone said, or figure out how to protect myself the next time something happened.

And that’s the thing about a toxic work environment. You can be doing your job, showing up every day, and still feel like you’re slowly disappearing inside it.

I’m not going to turn this post into a list of names or accusations. I’m telling you what those years felt like to me, and what I found written in my own notebook.

What I wrote on April 28, 2017

I called it a bittersweet day.

I wrote about the friendships, the memories, and the ways that job had helped shape me. Then I wrote about the relief I felt leaving and the things I’d been losing along the way: sleep, freedom, peace, and the feeling of being myself.

I was grateful for parts of that chapter and relieved to be out of it. Those two feelings existed at the exact same time.

And if you’ve ever stayed somewhere because you worked hard to get there, because you loved the work, because the good memories were real, or because you kept hoping things would improve, maybe you understand.

Leaving didn’t erase the good. But the good didn’t mean I had to keep accepting the bad.

The pages right beside that story

Here’s what got me when I found the notebook again: mixed in with all those work notes were ideas for All Things KayGee.

Fashion. Recipes. Travel. Family. A little bit of everything. I was writing introductions and brainstorming what this blog might be, even while another part of my life was weighing me down.

Looking at those pages now makes me think I was reaching for something that felt like mine before I even knew exactly how to describe it.

I wasn’t trying to create a perfectly polished business back then. I just knew there were things I loved, stories I wanted to tell, and parts of myself I wanted to make room for again.

Those old notes remind me that All Things KayGee wasn’t some random idea I had one afternoon. It was a dream that kept showing up, even when I had a whole lot going on.

Nine years and six months later

October 28, 2026 marked exactly nine years and six months since I wrote that goodbye entry. And here I am, finally bringing All Things KayGee back to life.

I’m not going to pretend every hard thing magically ended when I left. Life kept changing. I became a mom, took on new responsibilities, and found myself trying to make space for my own interests all over again, just in a completely different way.

But I look at that version of myself, the one counting down to the hour and writing down everything she hoped to do someday, and I feel proud of her.

She left something that was hurting her. She made room for a different life. And even when this blog sat quiet for years, the dream was still there.

Maybe that’s why finding this notebook felt so important. I can see the connection now between the woman who finally walked away in 2017 and the woman who’s opening All Things KayGee back up in 2026.

I don’t need to be who I was back then. I can appreciate what that version of me survived, bring forward the things she loved, and keep growing into whoever I’m becoming now.

If you’re in a chapter that has you questioning your confidence, your joy, or even who you are outside of work, I hope you remember that your whole life is bigger than that one place.

And if there’s an old dream you’ve tucked away somewhere? Maybe it’s worth another look.

XO, KayGee 🤎

If you’re new here, you can also read Some Dreams Are Worth Coming Back To, the story behind reopening All Things KayGee.